#they also have a lot of other differences but these
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This isnt really a story so much as it is just something I think about sometimes So I have a bad panic disorder and my therapist suggested I try this group thing for ppl that also have panic disorder and OCD. (its because both groups use cognitive behavioral therapy)
I asked my therapist who runs the group if the ppl there would appreciate this post? (it was mostly ppl with OCD and like me and 2 others with panic disorders) He laughed, paused for a min and then told me to maybe hold off on that.
#shout out to ppl that have OCD#that shit sounds incredibly hard to live with#also it was kinda surreal seeing so many different ppl from different walks of life in that group#old/young/successful/ less than successful/guys/girls/and everything in between/gay/straight/other ones that arent those two#theres a lot more ppl in therapy then I think society would have us believe
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The Charcuterie Board, as designed by your votes! Thank you to everyone who participated; this was a fun challenge!
#charcuterie saga#The original version of this was a watercolour but unfortunately I left it behind while travelling...#Along with some of my comic pages and my scripting notes (that's why I have yet to post more pd-mdzs...I funked it up big time)#This board was made on Dec 30th and I am very thankful to the people who helped donate various components to make it possible.#I took a few variations on the composition and while this one has some flaws - I think it has the most personality!#True Charcuterie fans will look at my choices and weep but I never promised good charcuterie!!! I promised accuracy to the poll!#Some elements stand in as 'double counting' in categories. Which was a survival technique for me.#I had to learn a lot of new things to make this possible! My skills like in making the physical wooden board - not the arrangement of food!#Rosemary was hotly debated as I personally do think it counts as edible (so not a valid pick for 'decoration').#I also thought tomato sauce could count as a fruit and spread.#My cursed hand has fingerprints in other parts of this tragedy. Beware looking too closely.#Of course there is a version of reality in which I have the disposable income to buy 20+ different kinds of cheese and-#-make this baby absolutely massive. Not the reality I live in though.#What a wild experience this saga has been. So many opinions about cheese (and other foods).#EDIT: I mislabelled the Salami! There is salami on the board!!!
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Doesn't Hasbro have a strong incentive to make a "lite" version of D&D with a pared-down paperback rulebook and sell it as a casual-friendly overpriced starter kit with a bunch of dice, figures, treasure cards, etc.? It could be a strict subset of the normal 5E rules (I guess - not that knowledgeable about TTRPG design). That way they could sell you all the same books. Seems like a slam dunk
Hasbro's present marketing strategy for Dungeons & Dragons is to try to position every D&D group as potential purchasers of every D&D product. Among other things, this is one of the main reasons that every campaign setting other than the Forgotten Realms is being repackaged as a series of tourist destinations for Forgotten Realms based campaigns to visit, and why there's been a strong move away from focused, topical sourcebooks and toward big, messy "book of everything"-style anthologies that consciously avoid focusing too much on any one type of character or campaign. It's also why the core books make a lot of noise about how wonderfully modular the rules are without actually providing any meaningful modularity in practice – if the game was designed to make it easy to pick and choose modular components, they'd risk fracturing the player base into distinct subsets with different preferred sets of modules.
All this in mind, it's fairly easy to see why there's currently no official "light" version of D&D. Under the paradigm of every single D&D group as a potential purchaser of every single D&D product, a version of Dungeons & Dragons 5th Edition that was actually, meaningfully simpler than the core product would function in practice as a competing game (what if people decide they like the simpler version better and just play that instead?), and the last thing you want is to compete with yourself. TSR learned that the hard way! With substantive simplification off the table, the only introductory version of Dungeons & Dragons Hasbro can offer is one with exactly the same rules which simply has less content, and tells people to buy the full version if they want more – which is exactly what they're selling in the various starter sets that are presently available.
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So like, transandrophobia.
To start this out, I am a trans woman, been around in the queer community for a while. I'm also bisexuality, polyamorous, disabled, and aromantic, and I think these other parts of my identity and the crap I've caught over the years for them heavily informs how I analyze something like transandrophobia. My wife is also asexual, so that plays a part in it too.
So every group of marginalized people has their own unique experiences and problems. It's more of a rule than something we've mathematically demonstrated, but as far as these things go it's ridiculously well established, and personally every time I've done even a basic dive into the issues faced by a marginalized group it's been self evident. I could easily list a dozen groups ranging from racial minorities to different kinds of disabled people to different queer identities and analyze their social issues but let's be real, this is pretty well established theory, anyone who needs me to do that is not really interacting with good faith. This is one of the big reasons we talk to people about their own experiences and groups, we cannot reasonably extrapolate the experiences of others from our own.
So like trans men and trans mascs and anyone else that falls under that umbrella has their unique experiences. The idea that we would even question this is weird to me? Like I can't even imagine the kind of evidence someone would need to present to me to change my mind, and given the pattern of the queer community to be shitty in exactly this way to people in our community, yeah that is not happening.
Therefore, we are taking it for granted that the trans men/masc/related umbrella has their own things going on like everyone else ever, and I don't understand how someone acting in good faith can try to claim otherwise unless they are young or otherwise very inexperienced with such things.
The next point of contention seems to be the name, and I gotta be real I don't care and I don't understand why other people do. I've read all sorts of arguments against the word transandrophobia and the majority of them seem to be rooted in a misunderstanding of intersectionality, and even then it's like there is such a thing where people get so mired in theory that they miss the forest for the trees.
Perhaps more important to me, getting overly worked up about something as unimportant as the precise term is... weird. Like exclusionists hating on bi and ace people weird. I remember what it was like a decade ago when exclusionists were trying to police the words of bi women, and five years ago when ace and aro people were under constant attack under the pretense that our language was harmful for some reason or other. You are going to have to work very, very, very hard to convince me that any bickering over language as it relates to transandrophobia is not just more of the same.
Next, "transandrobros hate trans femmes" and similar stuff. I've seen the callout posts and found them completely unconvincing. Again, they read a lot like the old "ace people hate lesbians!" posts I used to see. I'm not convinced that the individuals involved were a problem, I am certainly not able to extrapolate a problem to the rest of the group.
Finally, there is this idea that "maleness is not a vector for oppression" and this invalidates something about the whole transandrophobia thing, ranging from the entire concept of trans men experiencing prejudice to something about language being imprecise all the way to "This is fascist shit, omg these people are basically nazis" depending on who says it. I'm not going to touch any of that and just look at the underlying logic.
This is based off a misunderstanding of intersectionality theory. Many people think of intersectionality as defining intersecting prejudice, like a ven diagram, such that transmisogyny is the intersection of transphobia and misogyny. This is incorrect. Intersectionality defines unique prejudice experienced by people with intersecting identities. Instead of a transmisogyny as the overlap of transphobia and misogyny, imagine adding a third circle that overlaps both but also has its own areas covered by neither.
Applied to transandrophobia, even if we assume maleness is not a vector for oppression, there is no reason to assume that the intersection of maleness with a marginalized identity doesn't result in new issues. Imagine that 3 circle venn diagram that represents misogyny, transphobia, and transmisogyny. Even if you remove the misogyny circle there is still plenty of ground covered by the transmisogyny circle.
This just isn't a valid criticism. It is a pure theory approach based on a flawed reading of theory.
So in summary:
Everyone has their unique shit going on and I've seen no convincing evidence that trans men, mascs, etc. Are the exception.
I not seen any convincing argument that the word itself is bad.
I've not seen any convincing evidence that there is some epidemic of transandrophobia truthers hating and harassing trans femmes on scales higher than normal background queer infighting.
The most coherent objection to transandrophobia I've seen is categorically incorrect and based on a fundamental misunderstanding of intersectionality theory.
I would like to remind everyone at this point I am a trans woman, part of the group that is supposedly a problem for and I've just not see it at all, to the point where it is kind of weird how intensely some people are pushing this.
I'm not trying to be mean or whatever, I'm sure the distress on display here comes from a real place and real trauma, but I've yet to see anything that makes me think there is substance to the objections to transandrophobia as a concept. It feels and reads like the latest round of queer intracommunity exclusionism, and the fact that this time around I'm not one of the target identities doesn't change that for me.
#I was tired of this shit 8 years ago when lesbians were telling me I was evil for calling myself a bisexual femme#You are going to have to do a lot better than this to convince me that trans dudes using a word is some crisis
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how do you think leona would do if he falls in love?
Here are my thoughts in bullet-point/headcanon form for ease of reading! Key word there being my thoughts. (There will of course be different interpretations based on who you ask this question to.)
Standard disclaimer: These points are nothing more than my opinions and I am NOT saying my opinions are any more or less valid or “correct” than yours. Please, I’m not pre-book 1 Riddle/j It’s fine to have other takes; just remember to be mindful in how you communicate differences in opinion.
To start with, here's how I think Leona would deal with the experience of first love:
Firstly, I definitely feel that Leona is the type of person to not easily fall in love. There are many examples in canon of Leona rejecting the love he receives from others, whether it be from his own family (Cheka, Falena), dorm members (Ruggie, Jack, Savanaclaw mobs, etc.), or other peers. Even though he desires others’ approval and praise, he also simultaneously believes the compliments are insincere or that he may not be deserving or worthy of it, that he hasn’t “earned” it. It’s also difficult for him to be emotionally vulnerable with others, and I feel that this would extend to romantic circumstances.
Continuing from the previous point, I think it’d be a slow burn. Like, the feelings develop gradually and manifest in small but increasingly more forward-facing ways like his gaze lingering for a second or two longer than usual, him getting slightly irritable when he smells (I 100% believe that smell is a Big Thing for beastmen) some other guy on the object of his affections, or simply… his mind wandering to them, maybe in a daydream.
A lot of it is Leona musing about the situation and then being in denial. He’s not so oblivious as to ignore what are clearly blossoming feelings, but he's not so hasty as to act on them right away. He'd sit with those feelings, examine them, question them. What is it that he is experiencing and why, how did things come to this, etc. He may even try to convince himself it's a phase or he's "too good" for this or he's "above" this. Really takes a long time to wrestle with his emotions and to sort them out. And then when he has come to his conclusion, he might not be very pleased with it because (as I said before), he has self-esteem and self-worth issues despite outwardly presenting himself as confident and in-charge.
For a while, he keeps his distance and observes. He’s nothing if not a big cat biding his time, keeping an eye on his prey until—BAM! Down comes his paw, ensnaring the mouse. It's like a game of chess or... cat and mouse. You have to watch your opponent and predict their moves, then plan your own moves two or three or more steps ahead of them. He'd want to gauge if they're already taken, if they seem to express an interest in him too, what they like and dislike, information like that. The last thing Leona'd want to do is charge in, guns blazing, only to be rejected and have his pride hurt.
He may also go out of his way to test the object of his affections by purposefully engineering scenarios to see how they react. At first, it's subtle things that could easily be passed off as coincidence or happenstance. For example, maybe Leona would accidentally bump his shoulder against yours or as he's walking by his tail flicks you. That's just the start though. He'd put more pressure on over time. Like he'd be more confrontational, putting himself in your path as some obstacle to overcome, still being sort of an asshole to see how you handle yourself around him.
Leona tells himself he has the upper hand, and he's usually pretty consistent about hiding his feelings to that end. It might peek through here and there, but they easily read as him being tsundere as per usual. I think that would be his way of coping, because deep down he doesn't want to admit that a part of him is scared to feel this way. It's something else he could fail at, someone else he could frighten away or destroy.
With time, I think he'd become more confident. He has a better grasp of the other person, he's been able to sort out his thoughts. But the thing is, his pride is still a major deterrent. Instead of coming out and saying it, it would become another game. If you've ever read or watched Kaguya-sama: Love is War, it'd be similar to that. Leona would push for the other person to be the one to fall for him and confess first. Part of it is he's kind of afraid to be so emotionally vulnerable, part of it is that he's desperate to be wanted and needed by others, and part of it is that he feels he needs to "earn" that love by winning you over. He wants that sweet, sweet validation from you. He wants YOU to choose HIM.
I think he expects a certain amount of push and pull. If the game's too easy for him, the (psychological) hunt loses some of its thrill. I think he'd also be the type to seek a partner that isn't just a blind yes man (despite him giving off the vibes that he wants to be in total control, especially in his own dormitory); they should be able to keep him on his toes one way or another, and they shouldn't idolize him in a really unrealistic way--because then he worries what would happen if they learn about his flaws. Would they see him differently? Reject him? Etc.
It'd take a considerable amount of time and effort, but slowly he'd let the walls around his heart down to let you in--but ONLY if you pass his tests and prove that you can be loyal, trustworthy, and cognizant + accepting of all his flaws. He has high standards, so he's pretty picky about who he allows to be by his side. I don't think he'd be happy having to like... put in a fake "perfect prince" act or airs for someone else. Pretending to be someone you're not in order to have love might be just another source of stress for him.
He would take a more aggressive approach if the object of his affections makes it obvious that they return his feelings. More "accidental" touching (but of course nothing that breaches into something they find discomforting), intentionally dropping phrases that come off as flirtatious, demanding to spend more time together, etc.
If they're not into it, he'd respectfully back off. However, that won't stop him from moping about it in private later.
Then, assuming a scenario in which he and the person he's romantically interested in get together/start formally dating:
I think he'd be a lot more blatant and shameless about "showing off" his affections and/or the relationship in general. Overt flirting at this point, casually laying his head on the shoulder or wrapping an arm or tail around you, etc. Who cares who sees? Let them know you're already taken.
Oh yeah, he's really into physical touch (within whatever limits you deem to be acceptable; he respects your autonomy). Cuddles while napping, hand holding, head pats, listening to your heartbeat, etc. It grants him a sense of security that you're like... physically there with him.
I think words of affirmation are also up there, however I don't think he would appreciate it if it's like... overdone. Too many compliments might start to feel disingenuous or even smothering after a while (what comes to my mind specifically is how he reacts negatively or with denial to his brother, Cheka, Kifaji, and even his own dorm members praising him).
As I mentioned earlier, I think there'd be a lot of banter and teasing; Leona strikes me as someone who likes to toy with his pre or puts up a fight; he still has his pride and won't take sass lying down, he'd definitely retaliate but in a playful way.
Slightly whiny and needy. Key word: SLIGHTLY. He's not going to go full yandere on you. I believe that Leona would be somewhat insecure about the relationship and wants you to validate him with your presence. Like, if you're lying down somewhere and try to get up to leave... he might pout and be all dramatic about it, maybe throw in a sarcastic line about how he's "a delicate prince" and how he'll "wither like a flower" without you.
Slightly possessive. Again, the key word: SLIGHTLY. He's not going to restrict your movements or demand complete control of your life. However, he might sulk if he like... sees some other guy hovering or getting handsy, obviously making you uncomfortable. (If it's a particularly bad day for him, Leona might get intrusive thoughts about being the "second pick" and his partner leaving him for some "better" guy.) We've already seen he can get pretty territorial when it comes to Savanaclaw and the Botanical Garden, so I think at some point he'd also step in to intimidate people he feels are becoming a problem for his S/O. It's not the case for every situation though; his partner should be able to handle themselves or let him know when he's overstepping.
I think he'd be a little more tolerant of things his partner pulls. They're the one exception for certain things, like touching his ears or being more willing to listen to their requests to go to class or to try this new vegetable.
He'd try to distance his S/O from his family, especially in the beginning. Leona would tell them he doesn't think they're ready to meet the royal family yet (especially knowing the rocky relationship he has with his family), but really a lot of this stems from his pride. Falena, for example, honestly might make him look uncool by infantilizing his "baby bro".
Leona doesn't really go out of his way to plan grand gestures (he's not Kalim). If he does anything "big", it's probably like sending Ruggie to your doorstep with fancy flowers and a notecard or something. What he values isn't the "frivolous" stuff, but spending quality time together (even if it's doing nothing in particular). Might still spoil you on, say, special occasions, but he generally dislikes making a big deal of these things.
I think he'd be into you wearing his clothes. It's an easy visual indication that you're intimate enough to do this, but also it cloaks you in his smell so every other beastman in the immediate vicinity also knows you're "marked". Leona tosses his unworn blazer over you, casually saying, "Keep it."
I do believe he has the capacity to be very sappy, but I don't think he'd want to be at this level all of the time. It would probably be limited to private settings and done sparingly, sort of like a treat?? Cuz if he does it too often, then it might lose its "special" feeling, and I also feel like he wouldn't be open to being all squimshy 24/7. Usually his sappiness is sarcastic.
Going to keep it 100 here, he's going to be more vulnerable around you (especially in private), and that means potential traumadumping. That's not to say that he'd do it super frequently to go into full-blown details, but his S/O would be one of the few people he feels comfortable enough with to open about his deepest insecurities and fears. He sometimes needs someone to hear him out, a shoulder to cry on, etc. Of course, he's not going to treat his partner like an unpaid therapist. Leona just... needs some extra support every now and again, reminders that he's doing fine, you know??
IMPORTANT ADDITIONAL NOTES:
Leona being in love would NOT smooth out all the rough edges to his personality. He's not going to white knight/act like you constantly need his protection, he's not going to bend over backwards and do anything and everything his partner asks of him. He still has a will and he can and will disagree or argue if he's opposed to something. He'll still let you handle yourself as needed.
Leona being in love would also NOT magically cure him of his personal issues and struggles. This is also true of the other characters who have deeply rooted trauma, but I feel this point should be included as a reminder anyway. It's of course not his entire personality, but his past experiences will impact how he interprets and reacts to things in present day (hence him being needy/wanting validation, etc.).
Like all relationships (whether romantic or platonic), it would not be flawless. There will be highs and lows, fights and disagreements, etc. This is normal in any relationship; what matters is that you're able to be mature enough to patch things up afterwards and learn from those rough patches.
#twst#twisted wonderland#twst x reader#twisted wonderland x reader#Leona Kingscholar#Leona Kingscholar x Reader#disney twisted wonderland#disney twst#question#notes from the writing raven#twst headcanons#twisted wonderland headcanons#kaguya-sama: love is war#Kifaji#Neji
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run for the hills – lh44 (+18)
masterlist ||
Summary: The one where fate decides to bring you back into Lewis’ life, making him question his belief in fate.
Pairing: lewis hamilton x rosberg!reader
Word Count: 9.3k
Warnings: cursing, crying, drinking and mentions of alcohol, mentions of brocedes (rip), kissing, unprotected sex (you shouldn’t be surprised at this point), oral (m receiving), hand kink, praise kink, minors dni!!
Request: “hey, Merry Christmas 🫶🏽 I was hoping I could request a Lewis smut fic where the reader is Nico Rosberg's sister (with a age gap of around 6-8 years with him and Lewis) and before 2016 they were just really close friends who just kissed once but chose to pretend it didn't happen. after years, they run into each other at a club or a party and they're pretty snappy at each other but there's a lot of tension too and they end up having sex where Lewis is really cocky and also the reader has a hand kink and praise kink? I'm so sorry if I made it too long, i love your writing <33” + “oooo please could i request something w lewis?! something gut wrenchingly angsty? sorry i don’t really have a plot in mind hhhh thank you heheh”
Author’s Note: hi, hey, hello!! HAPPY NEW YEAR, i started this fic last week and i honestly didn't think I'd finish it this quickly but here we are. don't let my words fool you, i got the request last christmas but if you know me then you know that i am not quick when it comes to working on requests (i'm working on this i promise), not that this fic is even remotely christmassy, but let’s just appreciate that it is supposed to be set during the holiday period lol. this was supposed to be a shorter one but here we are, lol, i'm not even surprised at my inability to keep things short at this point. i posted this fic and realised i forgot to copy and paste a big chunk of it so oh well. as always, feedback is appreciated, and i hope you guys enjoy! good morning, noon or night wherever you are, xoxobee
Please also note that all of my works are protected under copyright, and not available for reposting on other platforms.
Lewis decided he doesn’t like cold a long time ago. That’s why, being the ever-decisive person he is, he chooses to spend his winter vacationing in places like the Maldives or Bali. His decisiveness is an important part of him, given what he does for a living. When he is on the track, in his car, there is no room for hesitation – he needs to be able to make split-second decisions under intense pressure, what’s not to love about that? So, once he decided he’d rather spend his time off basking in the sun rather than freezing to death somewhere else, he never looked back. He enjoys spending his time off in someplace tropical with his family, or without his family; most of the times away from the prying eyes and camera lenses of the media.
But this time, it’s different – he's alone.
Or rather, he thought he would be alone. The villa he rented out for the duration of the month is isolated, just how he likes it. He wakes up to the sound of waves crashing against the shore right outside his windows, and the distant chirping of tropical birds to accompany him as he lounges on the large deck, overlooking the infinite expanse of blue. There are no spectators around to gauge his reaction, try to get him to speak out about his plans for the next year when he moves to Ferrari, or what he’s going to do when he eventually retires one day. He hasn’t seen anyone from the racing world for weeks, and it’s been a much-needed break. He’d usually love to spend Christmas with his family, the only time he would ever tolerate the cold being when he is with his family, but this year he just wanted to get away on his own.
There is no one around that expect anything from him. Just peace.
He’s not a hermit, of course, but he enjoys spending his time by himself mostly isolated from all the other guests of the touristic area he’s staying in. The chef that works at the villa is on call for when Lewis decides that he wants to stay in for the night, the housekeeping staff come every morning to clean up around the house, then promptly leave, providing Lewis with the privacy he so desperately needs. But other than that, and a few nights spent outside in a restaurant or a club? He is all alone, and he is not complaining about it. Another thing about Lewis Hamilton is that he doesn’t believe in fate. He believes in setting and achieving goals; after all, that’s what he’s done all his life. His success isn’t some cosmic coincidence. It’s years of sacrifice by his parents, relentless effort, and unwavering determination. So, when things happen that feel serendipitous, like running into someone from his past, he doesn’t chalk it up to destiny. He chalks it up to the sheer unpredictability of life.
And yet, as he steps out of the villa to head to a nearby beach club after dinner, he doesn’t expect to run into you, especially not after how the things ended last time, but there you are. His eyes find you at the bar with some guy next to you – he has to do a double take. Just to make sure, he tells himself. But no matter how many times his attention reverts to you, he knows it’s you. Of course, it’s you. Though he’s not a believer in fate or destiny, or whatever you might want to call it, there you are – dressed in a flowy linen dress. His first instinct is to ask the server to seat him somewhere else so that he wouldn’t have stare at you and your ‘date’ for the night. His grip on the glass in his hand tightens momentarily, and he exhales slowly, forcing himself to look away. This is not the moment, he tells himself. It’s not his business, not anymore. But still, his gaze drifts back to you. You’re laughing at something the guy says, your head tilted slightly as you sip from your drink. He can’t hear your laughter, no – but what a sound that would be to hear, he thinks for a moment.
He knows he shouldn’t care who you’re with or what you’re doing; it’s been years since the two of you shared anything beyond... well anything, really. But something about seeing you here, in this place he thought was his private retreat from the world, feels like a twist of fate – or the kind of cosmic joke he claims not to believe in. But his eyes watch you as you throw you head back in a laugh and he can practically hear the sound in his head, his mind taking him to years ago when he used to be one of the people who got to hear it first hand; when he joined your family on karting days, or when you celebrated with him when he won a race, or even back to that one time when him and Nico were trying to drive those unicycles and you kept doubling over in laughter when they fell down – something your brother did not appreciate, but Lewis couldn’t help the smile that crept on his face as he watched you from the ground.
Somethings never change, he thinks, as he notices the smallest of smiles that has crept its way onto his face, quickly disappearing the moment he catches himself. He knows it shouldn’t matter to him – let alone bother him. But old habits die hard, and the sight of your smile, that easy laugh, stirs something in him that feels like both longing and a pang of annoyance. You’ve always had a way of getting under his skin. Back then, it was teasing remarks that somehow felt more genuine than any praise he received elsewhere. He catches himself glancing your way again, his jaw tightening when the guy beside you leans in a little too close. It’s irrational, this surge of jealousy that claws at his chest. He knows he has no right to feel this way, but that doesn’t stop it from burning through him. He looks down at his drink, willing himself to focus on anything but you. But memories have a way of sneaking up on him, unbidden. The days spent at karting tracks, the shared dinners with your family, the quiet moments when it was just the two of you, talking about everything and nothing at all. Back then, it was easy. Natural. Like you were two pieces of a puzzle that fit together perfectly, until you didn’t.
Just then, you glance over, your eyes scanning the room before they land on him. For a moment, everything stills. The laughter fades from your face, replaced by something unreadable. Surprise, maybe. Or recognition. His breath catches in his throat, and he curses himself for the way his chest tightens under your gaze. He watches as you excuse yourself, heading towards the restrooms, and he swears he has never gotten up so fast and walked so fast in his life. He doesn’t think, he just moves until he spots you in the hallway, queued behind some people waiting for the bathroom line. What kind of a club only has one bathroom? He thinks, but that’s not the point.
He clears his throat.
You turn, eyes widening in that familiar, guarded way. “Lewis.” Your lips open in shock as you glance behind him and then focus on him again, “Did- did you follow me here?”
“Were you on a date with that guy?” The words come out of his mouth before he can stop himself, his voice colder than he expects.
You blink, taken aback by the question. “Excuse me?”
He stands there, regretting the words as soon as they leave his mouth, but that doesn’t stop the irritation from creeping up his spine. His gaze flickers to the bar behind him, where the guy you were with is still talking to the bartender, oblivious to what’s going on. “I asked if you were on a date,” he repeats, a little sharper this time as he emphasises the last word.
You raise an eyebrow, the surprise on your face melting into something more guarded, a mix of disbelief and annoyance. “What if I was?” You cross your arms, your eyes narrowing. “Maybe I’m just out enjoying my night. Ever think of that?”
He feels a rush of heat in his chest. “It’s not like I care,” he mutters, though it’s clear from the edge in his voice that he does. “Just curious.”
You scoff, your lips curling into a sarcastic smile. “Sure, Lewis.”
“So?” He inquires, “Are you? On a date with that guy, I mean.”
You raise an eyebrow, clearly not amused. ���Are you serious right now?” you snap, your arms tightening across your chest. “You’re standing here, in the middle of a hallway, asking me about my love life? What is this, high school?”
Lewis feels the heat rise in his neck, irritation mixing with a sense of frustration he doesn’t quite understand. “I’m not asking for your life story, just... just an answer. Is it that hard?” His voice is tight, but he doesn’t back down.
You scoff again, your lips curling into something between a smirk and a sneer. “You really think you can just waltz back in and start demanding answers like we’re still... You know what? Yes, Lewis, I’m on a date.” You throw a glance over your shoulder at the guy still sitting at the bar. “We met on the beach at the hotel I’m staying at, and I thought I’d let him treat me to a dinner and a couple of drinks before I’d let him fuck me six ways to Sunday.” You roll your eyes at someone on the queue gasping at your choice of words. “Not that it’s any of your business. Are you happy now?”
Lewis’s hand grips your wrist, a little too tight, and without warning, he’s tugging you away from the bar, his jaw clenched. “Come on,” he mutters, his tone low and urgent, as he steers you towards the back exit. You’re caught off guard, stumbling to keep up with his forceful pace, your heart hammering in your chest.
“What the hell, Lewis? Let go of me!” you snap, yanking your arm free once you're outside in the chill night air. The chill hits you like a slap, the heat of the club’s atmosphere fading behind you as the door slams shut.
“Seriously?” he spits, his eyes flashing with a mix of anger and frustration. “You’re gonna play it like that?”
You take a step back, crossing your arms over your chest. “I don’t know what game you're playing at, but I’m not interested. What the hell was that back there? Dragging me out like I’m some kind of... of property?”
He glares at you, his fists clenched at his sides. “You’re unbelievable.” His voice rises, sharp and cutting. “I ask you a simple question, and you throw that crap at me? What the hell did you think I was supposed to do? Just stand there and pretend like I didn’t care?”
You laugh bitterly, shaking your head. “Pretend like you don’t care? That’s rich coming from you. You don’t get to just waltz in, after all this time, and act like you can demand answers, Lewis. Like you have any right to know what’s going on in my life.”
“Your brother would be so disappointed in you right now.” His words hit you like a punch to the gut, and for a moment, the air between you two freezes. The breeze picks up, but the sudden silence makes the world feel too loud.
“You don’t get to talk about my brother,” you seethe, as Lewis's face hardens, his jaw tensing, but it’s the look in his eyes that hits hardest — it’s a mixture of hurt and fury, both so raw, you almost feel sorry for what you’ve just unleashed.
“What did you just say?” His voice is low, almost dangerously so, the words slipping through clenched teeth.
You swallow, but it doesn’t help the sharp edge in your voice. “You heard me. You don’t get to talk about him, you don’t get to fuck up my life and you don’t get to come back here acting like you still have any claim on me or my life.” You’re breathing heavily now, the anger and hurt mixing into a bitter cocktail that you can’t quite swallow – funnily enough, Lewis can smell the cocktail you had earlier. “You left. You made your choice, Lewis. And now you don’t get to barge back in and pretend like I owe you anything.”
Lewis stands in front of you, his chest rising and falling with each breath. His eyes are dark, his jaw tight as he processes your words. He doesn’t know when the two of you got closer together, he can practically feel the anger radiating off you, “You think I don’t know that?” he spits, his hands balling into fists at his sides. “You think I don’t know what I did?” His voice cracks slightly, the vulnerability slipping out before he can stop it. “I fucked up, alright? I fucked up more than you’ll ever understand. We all did – me, Nico, you.”
“You don’t get to make me feel guilty about this, Lewis. You don’t get to act like I’m the one who fucked everything up.” Your voice shakes, but you keep going, the words coming faster, more bitter. “You kissed me and called it an ‘accident’, a fluke. You fought with Nico every chance you got. I had to pick up the pieces on my own.”
Lewis flinches at your words, but his anger doesn’t dissipate—if anything, it only sharpens. His hands remain balled into fists at his sides, but there’s something else behind his eyes now, something raw, something almost desperate. “We wouldn’t have worked out,” he mutters, it’s something that he said to himself time and time again to convince himself of it, “I am– was your brother’s friend, you–”
“You were my friend, too!” You exclaim, your hands swatting at his arms, chest – anywhere you can reach. “You left me, as if I meant nothing to you! You stole my first kiss and shattered my life to pieces on the same day!” You manage to get in some good hits despite Lewis’ attempts to calm you down, and the lump in your throat makes it harder for you to continue talking, “Do you know how many times I wondered if you kissed me just to piss Nico off? Do you know how that feels?”
“What?” He asks, his voice low. Each hit, each accusation, it stings. But nothing hits harder than the raw emotion in your eyes – hurt, betrayal, and the weight of everything he left behind. He opens his mouth to speak, but the words catch in his throat. “You think I kissed you to get at Nico?” he says finally, his voice quieter now but no less intense. There’s an edge of disbelief, of hurt, as if the idea itself cuts deeper than your accusations. “Do you really think so little of me?”
You cross your arms tightly over your chest, holding yourself together in the face of his raw honesty. “I don’t know what to think, Lewis. What was I supposed to think back then? You shut me out. You made me feel like it never happened – like I never happened.”
“You were twenty-three years old,” he points out, “our age difference–”
“Oh please,” you scoff, pushing at his chest one last time, “you’ve fucked girls younger than that.”
Lewis flinches at your words, as if they’ve struck a nerve he didn’t even know was exposed. His jaw tightens, and for a moment, he doesn’t say anything. “You don’t get to throw that in my face,” he finally says, his voice low and clipped, tinged with a kind of frustration that feels different from before.
“Why?” You ask, head cocked to the side. “I can’t comment on you fucking other people, but you can question my actions because I want to fuck–”
“Say ‘fuck’ one more time and I swear I’ll–”
“—what, Lewis?” you snap, cutting him off before he can finish his threat. “You’ll what? Walk away again? Pretend this conversation never happened, just like you did last time?”
His jaw clenches, the muscles in his face tightening as he tries to rein in his emotions. “Don’t push me,” he warns, his voice low and taut, but there’s no real menace in it—only desperation.
“Oh, I’m pushing?” You laugh bitterly, throwing your hands up. “I’m the one pushing? You’re the one who showed up here, dredging up every memory I’ve spent years trying to bury. Don’t you dare put this on me, Lewis.”
“You think this is easy for me?” he shoots back, his voice rising. “You think I don’t hate myself for what I did? For what I didn’t do? I’ve lived with this every single day, and you—”
“Fuck you!” you shout, stepping closer, your finger jabbing into his chest. “Fuck you, fuck you, fuck–”
His hands shoot up, grabbing your wrists – not harshly, but firmly enough to stop your movements. You don’t even fully register how quickly he pushes you against the wall, “You think I ran off and lived some perfect life?” he hisses, his face inches from yours as he inhales deeply. “You think I didn’t miss you every goddamn day? You think I didn’t lie awake at night, wishing I’d had the guts to ask you to stay?”
His words hit you like a tidal wave, the rawness in his voice leaving you momentarily speechless. For a moment, the anger in his eyes softens, replaced by something else – something that feels far too close to the hope you’ve been trying to suppress. “Well... yeah.” You inwardly cringe how your voice sounds so weak, but Lewis tilts your chin back to make you look at him.
“Is that so?” He mumbles, thumb caressing your chin as his eyes hungrily take in how your chest moves with each deep breath your inhale and exhale.
Your breath hitches as his thumb lingers, his gaze dropping to your lips like he’s fighting every instinct to close the distance between you. “Lewis...” you start, but his name comes out softer than you intend, more of a plea than the warning you meant it to be.
“What?” he murmurs, his voice low and dangerous, but there’s a softness to it, an undercurrent of vulnerability that sends your heart racing. “What do you want me to do, huh? Walk away again? Because I can’t. Not this time.”
You shake your head slightly, but his grip on your chin keeps you from fully looking away. “I don’t know what I want,” you admit, the words tumbling out before you can stop them. “I don’t even know how to feel about you anymore.”
His eyes darken, and his jaw tightens, but he doesn’t let go. Instead, he leans in, his forehead almost brushing yours. “Then let me remind you,” he says, his voice a low rasp.
Your pulse quickens, every nerve in your body screaming at you to push him away – or pull him closer and he tension between you is suffocating. “Don’t,” you whisper, but your voice wavers, betraying the battle waging inside you.
“Don’t what?” he asks, his lips hovering dangerously close to yours. “Don’t do this?” You don’t answer, your throat too tight, your mind too clouded with memories, anger, and something else you’re not ready to name. He waits, his breath mingling with yours, his patience stretching thin. “Say the word,” he whispers, his voice rough with restraint. “Tell me to stop, and I will. I will let you go back and take him back to your room and do whatever you want.”
But you don’t say it. You can’t. Because as much as you hate him, as much as you want to scream at him, cry, and push him away... you also want this. Want him.
And Lewis knows it.
His hand releases your wrist, sliding down to your waist as his other hand stays on your chin, tilting your face toward him. The kiss that follows isn’t soft, isn’t sweet – it’s desperate, raw, and filled with years of unspoken words. It’s anger and longing, heartbreak, and desire, all crashing together in a way that steals your breath and sends your heart into overdrive. A softer kiss might have been what you wanted, but Lewis knows this is what you need. His body presses against yours, and your hands instinctively find his shoulders, clinging to him as if letting go would leave you falling apart. His lips are warm and insistent, the taste of him intoxicating. Every move, every touch, feels like he’s trying to make up for everything he never said, everything he left behind.
The kiss deepens, each second unravelling more of the carefully constructed armour you’ve built around your heart. His fingers grip your waist tighter, grounding you even as everything else feels like it’s spinning. You can feel the heat radiating off him with every press of his body against yours. Your mind screams at you to stop, to think, to pull away before you lose yourself completely – but your body betrays you. The years of hurt, anger, and confusion dissolve into the fire burning between you, ignited by a kiss that’s as much a battle as it is a surrender.
Lewis pulls back just enough to let you breathe, his lips still hovering close, his forehead resting against yours. His breath is hot against your skin, his voice low and rough when he finally speaks. “You still want to go back and fuck your little lover boy?”
“Who?” You mumble, breathless as a result of the kiss as your eyes become heavy with something you can’t quite describe.
Lewis smirks, a glint of triumph flashing in his dark eyes. "Exactly," he murmurs, his thumb brushing over your waist in slow, deliberate circles. His confidence is maddening, but the heat between you makes it impossible to summon the indignation you’d usually feel.
You try to muster a response, something sharp and cutting to put him back in his place, but the way his gaze drops to your lips again makes the words dissolve before they even form. “Don’t do that,” you manage, though your voice lacks the conviction you intended.
“Do what?” he asks innocently, though the rasp in his tone betrays his intent.
“Act like this changes everything.”
His smirk falters, replaced by a seriousness that roots you in place. “It doesn’t change everything,” he admits, his voice quieter now, almost tender. “But it changes something. Doesn’t it?”
Your heart pounds against your ribs as his words sink in. You hate how easily he disarms you, how effortlessly he pulls you back into his orbit no matter how much you’ve tried to escape it. But deep down, you know he’s right. “I hate you,” you whisper, though even you can hear the weakness in your words.
“I know,” he replies, his hand moving to cup your cheek, his thumb tracing your skin like he’s memorizing every inch of you. “And I hate myself for making you feel that way.”
The sincerity in his voice cuts through the haze, making your chest tighten. But before you can think about it, you find yourself tugging on the collar of his unbuttoned shirt, pulling him closer to yourself as you mumble, “Kiss me again.”
Your hands, which moments ago were pushing him away, now find their way into his hair, pulling him closer, as if to anchor yourself in the storm he’s unleashed within you. Lewis doesn’t hold back. His grip tightens on your waist, pulling you flush against him, the wall at your back the only thing keeping you steady. The kiss deepens, his lips moving against yours with an intensity that borders on desperation, as though he’s afraid this moment might slip through his fingers if he doesn’t hold on tight enough. When the need for air becomes undeniable, he pulls back just enough to look at you, his forehead resting against yours. Both of you are breathing heavily, the space between you charged with everything unsaid. “Tell me you didn’t feel that,” he says, his voice hoarse, his thumb brushing against your cheek.
You can’t answer right away, your heart hammering so loudly in your chest it drowns out any coherent thought. But eventually, you manage to find your voice. “I hate you,” you whisper, but there’s no conviction behind the words. They sound hollow, even to your own ears.
He lets out a dry laugh, shaking his head. “No, you don’t.”
“Don’t tell me how I feel,” you snap, but the edge in your voice falters.
“I’m not,” he murmurs, his gaze unwavering. “I’m telling you what I see. And I see you... still here. Still looking at me like that.” His hand trails down to your hip, his touch light but grounding. “If you hated me, you would’ve walked away by now.”
You close your eyes, willing yourself to regain some semblance of control, but it’s impossible with him standing this close, his presence overwhelming. “This doesn’t change anything,” you say, though it feels more like you’re trying to convince yourself than him.
“Maybe not,” he concedes, his voice softer now. “But it’s a start.” You don’t say anything to agree or refute his statement, and after a brief pause, he straightens, fixies your dress and tries to fix your hair as well. “Come on,” he says, “I’ll take you back.”
“But, my bag,” you mutter, pushing out your lower lip in a pout when you realise your bag is on the floor. Lewis has to restrain himself when he sees your lips all puffed up because of him. Your voice is whiny, and he realises you’re slurring your words a little bit when you tug on his shirt, “I don’t wanna leave my bag here.”
Lewis looks at you for a moment, his expression softening as he reaches up to tuck a loose strand of hair behind your ear, his fingers brushing against your skin with the same tenderness he’s shown all night despite all your fighting. With a soft exhale, Lewis bends down to pick up your bag, holding it out to you with the same quiet care. “Don’t make that face,” he murmurs, his voice teasing but laced with something tender. “You really wanna go back to that room, after everything that just happened?”
You look at him, a mix of confusion and desire swirling inside you. “I don’t know what I want,” you admit, the honesty slipping out before you can stop it. The words feel raw, vulnerable, but there’s something about his presence, the way he’s here, still so close, that makes you feel safe enough to say it.
Lewis doesn’t say anything right away. Instead, his eyes soften, his thumb grazing the strap of your bag as he watches you closely, as though he’s searching for something in your expression. Finally, he steps closer again, the space between you narrowing once more. “I get it,” he says quietly. “But I’m not letting you go home alone tonight.”
The words send a shiver down your spine. You want to protest, to push him away, but there’s something in his gaze, the way he’s looking at you now, that makes you second-guess everything you thought you wanted. You hesitate for a moment longer, the weight of your thoughts heavy in the air, but the pull between you is undeniable. It’s the kind of pull that’s magnetic, that doesn’t let you escape even when you try to resist.
Finally, you nod, the decision feeling both like a surrender and a choice you can’t take back. “Okay,” you murmur, your voice barely audible. “Take me back, then.”
You don’t even remember getting into his car, but you do remember the smug look he shot at your date – Carl, you think – when he helped you through the club with a firm hand on your back. The villa Lewis rented for his little getaway is entirely what you expect it to be – modern, grand, and secluded enough so no one uninvited would know he is there and bother him. The couch in the living room looks way too inviting and you make a mental note to avoid it for now. Sitting on it might make this whole situation feel too real, too comfortable, and you’re not ready for that. You glance around the space instead, taking in the clean lines of the modern furniture, the polished wood floors, and the sprawling windows that offer an unobstructed view of the moonlit ocean. You walk towards the windows, eyes taking in the view from inside the villa. The ocean stretches out endlessly before you, its surface shimmering under the moonlight. The soft sound of the waves crashing against the shore is faintly audible even through the glass, a gentle hum that seems to echo the turmoil in your chest.
You wrap your arms around yourself, partly to steady your nerves and partly to shield yourself from the vulnerability creeping up on you. The view is breathtaking, but it does little to quiet the storm of emotions swirling inside you. You faintly hear Lewis calling out your name, but as if you are in a trance, you can’t take your eyes off the view in front of you. His voice calls out to you again, softer this time, closer. “Hey,” he says, and you feel the warmth of his presence before you even see him. Lewis’s reflection appears in the glass, his dark eyes fixed on you as he stands just behind you.
You finally tear your gaze away from the ocean and turn to face him, your arms still wrapped protectively around yourself. “It’s beautiful,” you say, your voice barely above a whisper, as if speaking louder might shatter the fragile moment.
Lewis nods, his expression unreadable as he follows your gaze back to the window. “It is,” he agrees, but there’s a weight to his tone, as if he’s not just talking about the view. His eyes flicker back to you, searching your face. “But it doesn’t seem like it’s helping much.”
You let out a shaky laugh, more to fill the silence than anything else. “It’s not that simple, Lewis.”
“Nothing ever is,” he replies, stepping closer until there’s only a breath of space between you. “But I’m here. You don’t have to deal with whatever this is alone.”
The sincerity in his voice makes your chest tighten, and for a moment, you let yourself lean into it. “I don’t know what to do with you,” you admit, the words tumbling out before you can stop them. “With... us.”
He exhales deeply, his hand lifting as though he wants to touch you but hesitates. “You don’t have to figure that out right now,” he says, his voice steady. “I just want to make sure you’re okay tonight. That’s all that matters to me.”
Something about his words, his presence, eases the knot in your chest, if only slightly. “I don’t even know where to start,” you murmur, more to yourself than him.
“Then don’t,” he says simply, his voice carrying a quiet reassurance. “Just be here. With me.”
You look up at him, your eyes searching his face for any sign of pretense or ulterior motives, but all you see is the same man who’s managed to undo you with a single glance. “Show me your room.”
“We don’t have to do that.” His eyebrows furrow as he reaches for your cheek, “That not why I brought you here.”
“Isn’t it?” You try to joke, but his deep sigh is a sign of his disapproval. “I know that’s not why you brought me here, but it can be one of the reasons you brought me here.”
“Can it?” He drawls, a small smirk tugging at the corner of his lips.
“For God’s sake, Lewis.” You sigh, turning your body towards the man standing next to you. “Do I need to beg you for you to fuck me?”
Lewis’s smirk falters, his expression shifting into something deeper, darker, but undeniably tender. “Don’t,” he murmurs, his voice low and edged with restraint as he steps closer. His hand comes up to cradle your face, his thumb brushing against your cheek. “You don’t need to beg me for anything. Not now, not ever.”
The intensity in his gaze makes your breath catch, and for a moment, the air between you feels electric. “Then fuck me,” you whisper, your voice trembling with equal parts frustration and desire. “If you want me, show me.”
He closes his eyes briefly, like he’s steadying himself, and when he opens them again, the resolve in his expression takes your breath away. “You think I don’t want you?” he asks, his tone low but firm. “You don’t know how hard it is to hold back, to stop myself from–” He cuts himself off, his jaw tightening as if even admitting it is too much. He reaches for one of your hands, freeing from your hold and places it on his crotch. “See what you do to me?”
The crude act manages to steal a gasp from you, your eyes widening at how hard he already is. “Lewis,” you mutter, he responds with an affirmative hum, “show me your bedroom.”
He takes your hand, his grip firm but careful, and leads you down a sleek hallway. The sound of your heels clicking against the polished wood floor echoes softly, a counterpoint to the pounding of your heart. When he pushes open the door to his bedroom, you’re momentarily distracted by how much the space reflects him. The massive bed dominates the room, its crisp white sheets and plush pillows inviting. Floor-to-ceiling windows let in the silver glow of the moon, casting the room in a soft, ethereal light. The massive bed dominates the room, its crisp white sheets and plush pillows inviting. Floor-to-ceiling windows let in the silver glow of the moon, casting the room in a soft light.
You walk towards the centre of the room, the corner of your lip trapped between your teeth as you glance at Lewis over your shoulder before you run towards the bed and throw yourself onto the soft bedding. Lewis watches you with an amused smirk as you sprawl across the bed, your carefree motion starkly contrasting the simmering tension in the air. “Comfortable, baby?” he asks, his tone teasing, but the heat in his eyes betrays his calm façade.
You prop yourself up on your elbows, giving him a challenging look. “Very.” Then you narrow your eyes at him, “But don’t call me baby, I am not your baby.”
He chuckles, low and throaty, as he steps closer, loosening the top button of his shirt with a deliberate slowness that sends a shiver down your spine. “No?” he muses, stopping at the edge of the bed. His eyes roam over you, drinking in every detail as if committing you to memory.
Your breath hitches when he leans over, placing a hand on either side of your body, effectively caging you in. His face is so close to yours now that you can feel the warmth of his breath. “I like seeing you like this,” he admits, his voice dropping to a husky whisper. “Relaxed, it suits you.”
A flush creeps up your neck at his words, but you refuse to let him have the upper hand completely. Your fingers trail up his chest, over the defined planes of his torso, and then slide beneath the open collar of his shirt. “I could say the same about you,” you reply, your voice soft but loaded with meaning.
His response is immediate. His lips crash against yours with a fervour that steals your breath, his hands gripping your waist as he pulls you flush against him. The kiss is raw and consuming, years of tension and unspoken words pouring into the connection. When he pulls back, his forehead resting against yours, his breathing ragged, he looks at you like you’re the only thing that matters. “You have no idea what you do to me,” he murmurs, his voice thick with desire.
You smile, your hands slipping down to the waistband of his pants. “Why don’t you show me?”
He doesn’t need to be told twice. In one smooth motion, he lifts you, your legs wrapping instinctively around his waist as he carries you to the centre of the bed. He chuckles at the sound of your giggling, as he carefully lays you back down on the soft bed. His fingers work diligently to get you out of your dress, pulling the linen garment over your head as Lewis lets his eyes hungrily take you in. When your dress finally falls away, leaving you in nothing but lace and skin, Lewis takes a slow breath, his eyes scanning over your body with a mixture of awe and hunger. “You’re incredible,” he murmurs, his voice thick with admiration. His fingers trace the curve of your waist, his touch sending shivers of desire through your body.
You arch slightly into his touch, your breath coming faster, and you meet his gaze with a challenge in your eyes. “Are you going to just gawk at me, or are you going to actually do something?”
He smirks, a flash of cockiness in his eyes. “Patience,” he teases, but there’s no mistaking the hunger in his voice as he lowers himself over you. With one hand bracing himself above you, his other hand slides down between your bodies, his fingers brushing against the sensitive skin of your inner thigh. His touch is slow, almost teasing, and you can’t help the soft moan that escapes your lips as his fingers inch closer to where you need him most. “You like this?” he asks, his voice low and gravelly, his lips just inches from yours. His fingers find the lace of your underwear, his touch deliberate as he pulls it aside and slips a finger inside you, making you gasp. “You’re fucking perfect,” he groans, his lips crashing against yours as he deepens the kiss, his finger working inside you with a slow, steady rhythm. You can feel the heat building between you, the tension in the room thickening with every passing second.
“Don- don’t say ‘fuck’, Lewis,” you tease him with a small smirk as your breathing becomes deeper, “it’s unbecoming.”
“You’ll see who will be coming in a few minutes, baby.” He chuckles at the way your expression changes at the mention of the word, his fingers moving in deeper as your let out a disapproving moan, “What? You don’t like it when I call you that?”
With another dissenting hum and a raise of your hips to meet his hand, you let out a long exhale. “I’m not your baby Lewis, stop calling me that.” With the patience that only he can tolerate, he continues the leisurely movements of his fingers. “I want more, please.”
Lewis tuts at your words softly, chuckling as he takes in your reactions. “I think you have a very important decision to make here,” he murmurs, his eyes suddenly painted with something more serious, “because once I fuck you, I’m not letting you go.”
“I’ll believe it when I see it.” The words come out choppy as your breathing gets more erratic, his fingers stubbornly keeping to the slow rhythm he’s set.
Lewis's gaze sharpens, the challenge in your tone sparking a flame in his dark eyes. “Oh, you’ll see it, alright,” he murmurs, his voice a velvety promise as his hand withdraws briefly, leaving you breathless and aching. Before you can protest, he moves with deliberate precision, tugging his shirt over his head and revealing the expanse of his chest – sculpted, strong, and utterly captivating. “Get on your hands and knees.”
The command leaves no room for debate, his voice firm but laden with heat. Your heart skips a beat as you meet his gaze, a mixture of defiance and curiosity flickering in your expression. “Bold of you to assume I'll listen,” you quip, though the slight tremor in your voice betrays your anticipation.
Lewis smirks, leaning down until his lips brush the shell of your ear. “Oh, you'll listen,” he murmurs, his breath warm against your skin. “Because you know exactly how patient I can be, but the same can’t be said for you.”
A shiver runs through you at his words, and before you realize it, you’ve complied, shifting onto your hands and knees in the centre of the bed. You can practically feel his gaze on you, then all of a sudden, you can actually feel him behind you, the bed dipping slightly under his weight as he moves closer. “Good girl,” he says softly, his voice rich with approval, and the way your body reacts to the praise is almost embarrassing. “Oh, my beautiful darling.” His hands skim over your back, tracing the curve of your spine before settling on your hips. The grip is firm, possessive, sending a thrill through you.
The sounds of him taking himself out of his trousers and pumping cock in his hand is pure debauchery, yet you find yourself pushing your hips back against his thighs. Lewis's low chuckle reverberates through you, a sound full of confidence and desire. His hand tightens on your hips, steadying you as he leans in, his chest brushing against your back. The heat of his skin against yours makes you arch into him instinctively, earning another throaty laugh from him. “You're eager,” he teases, his voice dark and dripping with amusement. “I like you like this.”
You bite your lip to suppress the needy sound threatening to escape, refusing to give him the satisfaction. “Maybe you're just slow,” you retort breathlessly, glancing back at him over your shoulder, a challenging look in your eyes.
Lewis growls low in his throat, his hands sliding across your back. “Careful,” he warns, though there's a glint of amusement in his dark eyes. “Push me too far, and I won't be nice.” Your breath catches at his words, but before you can form a response, you feel him guiding himself to your entrance, teasingly dragging against you. The deliberate slowness makes your frustration peak, and you push your hips back, a wordless plea for him to stop teasing.
“Patience, darling,” he murmurs, his voice a husky promise. But even as he says it, he shifts forward, entering you with a deliberate motion that steals the breath from your lungs.
The sensation is overwhelming, every nerve in your body alight as he holds still for a moment, letting you adjust. “Lewis,” you breathe, your voice shaky with need.
His hands gently caress over the skin of your back and hips, soothing over the sharp feeling of Lewis easing himself into you in small movements of his hips. “You’re doing so well,” he shushes your whiny moans, his hands tracing your sides, grounding you. “You feel perfect, we’re almost there, darling.”
“A-almost?” Your voice cuts his words off, voice shaky with need, “It’s not going to fit, Lewis, I can’t-”
He leans over you, his lips pressing tender kisses along your spine, each one sending a ripple of warmth through you. His voice is a soothing murmur in your ear. “Relax for me, darling. Let me take care of you.” Your breathing steadies under his touch, the initial sting giving way to a fullness that leaves you breathless as he pushes himself fully into you. You arch your back slightly, pressing into him as his hands continue their gentle exploration of your body. The tenderness in his actions contrasts with the raw desire in his voice, creating a heady mix that leaves you yearning for more. “That's it,” he praises, his tone soft but laced with heat. “You’re incredible. See? We made it fit.”
“I feel so full.” You manage to let out, voice whiny as the moan is ripped from the back of your throat. “It feels so good, Lewis.”
He begins to move, a slow, steady rhythm that builds gradually, allowing you to feel every inch of him. The friction ignites a fire within you, and you can’t help the soft moans that escape your lips, each sound spurring him on. His grip on your hips tightens, his pace increasing as he finds the perfect rhythm, each thrust sending waves of pleasure coursing through you. “You feel so good,” he groans, his voice low and thick with desire. His hand slides up your spine, tangling in your hair as he pulls you back slightly, his lips brushing against your ear. “You’re mine, you know that? Only mine.”
The moan that comes from you is dissenting, causing Lewis to slide his hand down your throat to use the leverage to pull you up on your knees, pressed against his chest. “No,” you say, hands extending backwards to keep holding onto him in an attempt to keep up with the rhythm in which he is fucking you now.
His words send a shiver down your spine, the possessiveness in his tone igniting something primal within you. “Say it,” he commands, his voice rough as his movements grow more urgent. “Say you're mine.”
Your breaths are shallow, punctuated by soft whimpers as you cling to him, trying to keep pace with his movements. The way he pulls you against him, his hand firm on your throat, sends a jolt of heat through your core. His hand is firm around your throat, but not uncomfortable to the point that you can’t breathe.
“I’m not yours,” you gasp defiantly, your voice trembling with every move he makes.
Lewis growls low in his throat, the sound vibrating against your back as his hand tightens slightly around your neck—not enough to hurt, but enough to keep you in place. “We’ll see about that,” he says darkly.
His hips snap against you harder now, his rhythm relentless as if determined to prove you wrong. The overwhelming sensation leaves you gasping, your fingers clutching at his forearm for balance. His free hand slides down your body, gripping your waist to hold you steady as he drives deeper, each thrust sending shockwaves of pleasure through you.
“Still not mine?” he murmurs, his lips brushing against your ear. His tone is equal parts teasing and commanding, daring you to resist him. “Still think someone else can fuck you better than I can?” You bite your lip, trying to stifle the moans spilling from you, but the way he moves, the way he claims you, has you crumbling. “Say it,” he repeats, his voice a low growl that echoes through your very core.
Torn between defiance and surrender, you meet his challenge with a shaky breath. “I’m-” you begin, but he cuts you off with a particularly deep thrust that has you crying out his name instead.
“Hmm?” Lewis chuckles darkly, clearly enjoying your struggle. His grip on your neck softens slightly as his fingers trace the column of your throat in a soothing gesture. “Come on, baby, just say it.”
“I’m-” The word catches in your throat as he shifts slightly, the angle of his hips hitting a spot that sends a jolt of pleasure through you. A broken moan escapes your lips instead, and Lewis smirks against your ear, clearly revelling in your unravelling.
“Say it,” he demands again, his voice low and demanding. His hand slides from your throat to your jaw, turning your face just enough that his lips can brush against the corner of your mouth. The gentleness of the gesture is at odds with the raw intensity of his movements, leaving you breathless.
“I’m yours,” you finally gasp, the words tumbling out in a mix of desperation and surrender.
Lewis freezes for a heartbeat, his chest heaving against your back as the admission settles between you. Then, with a triumphant growl, he resumes his pace, his grip on you tightening as if he intends to imprint himself into every fibber of your being.
“That’s my girl,” he murmurs, his voice thick with satisfaction. His lips trail along your shoulder, leaving a path of heat in their wake. “Say it again.”
“Yours,” you whisper, the word coming easier this time, though the weight of it still sends a shiver through you.
His rhythm grows more urgent, his body moving with a single-minded purpose as he pushes you both toward the edge. “Never forget it,” he groans, his voice rough and ragged, “now come for me.” You blame the singular cocktail you had three or so hours ago for your compliance to his words, as you feel the wave of pleasure crash over you, obliterating any coherent thought. Your body trembles uncontrollably in his arms, your cries of release echoing in the room as he whispers sweet words of praise in your ear.
There are a million other things Lewis expects you to say, but you surprise him with a, “I wanna taste you.”
Lewis's movements still, his breath catching at your unexpected words. He pulls back slightly, his dark eyes locking with yours, filled with surprise and a flicker of intrigue. A slow, mischievous grin spreads across his face. “Oh, is that so?” he murmurs, his voice tinged with amusement and undeniable heat.
You nod, your cheeks flushing under his intense gaze, but there’s a spark of confidence in your eyes. “I really do,” you say softly, the tremble in your voice betraying both your boldness and your eagerness.
He studies you for a moment longer, his expression shifting to one of reverence laced with desire. "Well," he says, his voice low and gravelly, "who am I to deny you, darling?" With a gentleness that contrasts the fervour of moments ago, Lewis guides you to sit up, his hands warm and steady as they support you. He shifts to the edge of the bed, leaning back slightly, giving you room and letting you take control. His gaze never leaves you, his dark eyes glinting with anticipation. You settle between his thighs, your hands skimming over his skin, marvelling at the way his muscles tense under your touch. There's a sense of power in the way his body responds to you, in the way his breathing hitches when your lips brush against him. You look up at him, meeting his gaze with a small smile before leaning in. The moment your mouth closes around him, Lewis groans low in his throat, his head falling back as his control begins to slip. His hands find their way to your hair, his touch gentle but firm as he guides you, his breaths coming in shallow gasps. “Just like that,” he praises, his voice rough with pleasure. “You’re perfect, baby.”
The sound of his voice, the way he says your name like it’s the only thing that matters, spurs you on, and you lose yourself in the moment, intent on unravelling him the way he did you. Your lips move with deliberate intent, your tongue tracing teasing paths that have him groaning your name like a prayer. His fingers tighten in your hair, a gentle tug that makes you glance up at him through your lashes. The sight of him – head tilted back, his lips parted as he struggles for breath, sends a thrill through you.
“God, you’re incredible,” he murmurs, his voice ragged and filled with awe. His eyes find yours, and the intensity of his gaze makes your pulse quicken. “You have no idea what you do to me.” Encouraged by his reaction, you take him deeper, your hands gripping his thighs to steady yourself. The sound he makes is primal, his control slipping further as his hips jerk involuntarily. He tries to hold himself back, but you can tell he’s close to losing himself completely. “Baby,” Lewis rasps, his voice thick with need, “you keep that up, and I won’t last.” You hum around him in response, the vibration pulling another groan from his lips. His hand slips from your hair to cup your face, his thumb brushing against your cheek in a tender contrast to the raw passion between you. “Look at me,” he whispers, his tone almost pleading.
You meet his gaze, and the connection between you feels electric. His chest heaves as his breaths come in quick, shallow bursts, his control hanging by a thread. “I’m so close,” he warns, his voice a low growl. “Do you want me to stop?” The shake of your head is all the answer he needs. With a curse under his breath, he lets go, his body shuddering as he gives himself over to the waves of pleasure crashing through him. He holds your gaze the entire time, his grip on you tightening as if anchoring himself to the moment.
When he calms down, he collapses back against the bed, his chest rising and falling with deep, uneven breaths. You sit back after swallowing, a triumphant smile playing on your lips as you take in the sight of him, utterly undone. “That was fun,” you rasp as you take in the sight in front of you.
Lewis chuckles softly, the sound low and breathless, as he drapes an arm over his face, trying to regain his composure. “Fun?” he repeats, his voice laced with amusement and lingering satisfaction. He peeks at you from under his arm, his dark eyes glinting with a mixture of adoration and disbelief. “You’ve got no idea what you just did to me.”
You tilt your head, feigning innocence as you crawl up the bed to lie beside him. “I think I’ve got a pretty good idea,” you tease, your voice light but with a hint of pride.
He turns toward you, propping himself up on one elbow, his free hand reaching out to trace lazy circles along your arm. “You’re dangerous,” he murmurs, his tone soft yet filled with a reverence that makes your cheeks flush. “And I’m completely at your mercy.”
You laugh, the sound light and genuine, as you nuzzle into his touch. “I think you like it that way,” you reply, your fingers grazing over his chest, feeling the steady thrum of his heartbeat beneath your touch.
“More than you know,” he admits, leaning in to press a lingering kiss to your temple. The tender gesture contrasts with the raw intensity you’d just shared, and it sends a warm flutter through your chest.
For a moment, silence falls between you, the only sound the soft rustling of the sheets and the slowing rhythm of his breathing. Then Lewis shifts, his arm slipping around your waist to pull you closer. “You know,” he murmurs, his lips brushing against your hair, “I don’t think I’ll ever get enough of you.”
The weight of his words settles over you, and you glance up at him, your heart skipping a beat at the sincerity in his gaze. “Good,” you whisper, a small smile tugging at your lips.
He smiles back, a look of pure contentment spreading across his face as he tightens his hold on you. “That’s all I get?”
“We’ll see how you feel after we get home,” you mumble as you run a finger along the curve of his jaw, “you might be bored of me by then.”
“Home,” Lewis muses quietly, breaking the silence and ignoring your words. His voice is softer now, contemplative. “I like the sound of that.”
You glance up at him, his face so close that you can see the faintest hint of vulnerability in his expression. It stirs something deep within you – a mix of tenderness and longing that takes you by surprise.
“Yeah,” you murmur, leaning in to brush your lips against his. “Me too.”
#monzabee#requests open#f1 fic#f1 fanfic#f1 smut#formula 1#fanfic#f1 x reader#f1 x you#f1 x y/n#lewis hamilton#lewis hamilton x reader#lewis hamilton imagine#imagine#fluff#angst#smut#lewis hamilton smut#lewis hamilton fluff
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i still agree with this very much, but the more i think about it the more i feel like the way we as textile artists talk about fast fashion sometimes is really disrespectful. the category of "handmade" we have made up to describe things we make that take lots of time and that we put lots of love into is fake. all clothing is more or less handmade. FAST FASHION IS HANDMADE. you can not totally mechanize the process of sewing garments. a home sewing machine doesn't operate itself. neither does a factory grade sewing machine. fast fashion is cheap because the people who make it make almost no money from it and work under dangerous and inhumane conditions because noone invests in their safety. in mass production singular steps of making a garments are split to different people to make things more efficient, which also speeds up the process. but these people STILL work with their hands. it's handmade. the only real difference is that while we craft for fun, they do it to survive. because there's no other option. and like OF COURSE you're right op, we should all be paid fairly for the things that we make. but when we praise the process of handmaking our own textiles while bashing fast fashion, that's just punching down. we need to always remember that the fact that we are ABLE to make textiles for fun and demand fair prices comes from the (relative) privilege that we don't have to do it for our survival.
basically i just think we need to be more mindful how we word these things. if people don't value our work the way they should, it's not because of fast fashion clothing itself - it's because of capitalist consumerism and the fashion industry.
still thinking about the brainrot that fast fashion has caused in people, like i made this pair of pants that are black and white with a cool flowery design, and an acquaintance saw them and said "wow i'd pay like 20 dollars for you to make me a pair" and i could barely think with how utterly horrified i was at that; i told them that 20 dollars wouldn't even cover the materials, let alone the hours of work that went into cutting, sewing, ironing, hemming, altering, etc. they just had this look on their face when i told them that, when i said i wouldn't make them a pair for even 100 dollars because that was still way too low of an amount, a look that said "you're crazy for thinking that those cost 100 dollars" and maybe i am crazy but holy shit, 20 dollars for a pair of handmade, durable, lined pants fitted specifically to your measurements? 20 dollars for upwards of 60 hours of work? 20 dollars for several yards of high-quality fabric, thread, and buttons? 20 dollars???
#fast fashion#fashion industry#fiber arts#textiles#knitting#sewing#crochet#and so on...#i think about this way too much#sitting here in my quirky green purple glitter sweater that i knit myself while also wearing a 10€ primark skirt just feeling nauseous :)#i thrifted it but still.#i love the skirt as much as the sweater#the point is that our labor is not inherently more valuable than the labor of exploited people#i'm so worried now that i worded this badly?? op absolutely no offense to you your post is true and correct i'm just overthinking#and overthinking
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Not a request. Are there any concerns with mh!mc having to delegate their affections with the many monsters lest jealousy and fighting commence? (Also your Skully posts were very cute and your Fellow was terrifying ty with love ❤️)
Jealousy Among Fiends
A/n: LMAO ik it wasn’t a request, and originally I was only supposed to reply with the first part, but then I had the funny image of Riddle glaring at fish and had to elaborate more! And ahhh, thank you for the Skully and Fellow appreciation!! After their events I really fell in love with them (≧◡≦) ♡
Pairings: [Monster!Twst] Riddle, Leona, Azul, Jamil, Vil, Idia, Malleus, Rollo, Skully x Reader
Warnings: Possesion/Obsession, Slightly Suggestive, Jealousy, Marking, Minor character murder, Violence, Reader says something both mean and truthful
Ahahahahaha, definitely. Jealousy mostly happens within their areas. I discussed in this post about inter-sharing! But, it’s very difficult to settle these debates about your affection, while some are dealt with more calmly, there are certain grounds, or rather monsters, who are much harder to settle down. *Cough Octavinelle. In that particular dorm, if you’re not shared, expect for one one-on-one time to always coincidentally be interrupted. Even then, if it is shared, it’s always split because someone wants more time, leading to an endless cycle.
Meanwhile, all together…
While the majority of the cast is stuck in their respective haunting grounds, word does travel, and there are always lower, weaker monsters who gossip about different events. While, unlike canon where they all know each other, in Monster!twst, they hear rumors and vague communications with the other monsters. So while they don’t know each other as well, they have occasionally come across each other and drew their conclusions from gossip and their small moments of interaction.
Riddle’s in the process of consuming a new victim before his meal is interrupted by small harpies and their songs. They tend to fly over from Pomefiore. He’s told them several times to leave before they’re executed and he displays their heads as warnings. But, then he hears them sing a description that sounds a lot like you, and he halts himself from scaring them off.
“Yes, Yes! They were marked in bites and suction cups! Quite promiscious...“
“Even shouted at the perpatrators! ’Azul! Now I look covered in spots! Floyd... Quit biting me all the time! Jade, quit wrapping me in your tail! Are those three courting them—!?“
The creatures stop flying in circles, squeaking in fear at the ghost who floats between them, the all-famed Crimson Ghoul.
“Those three... did what?“ there’s a tinge of both anger, jealousy, and sadness in his tone. All much more terrifying at the chill the shoots down their spine. They’re swift to fly away.
When Riddle floats past Ace and Deuce, they’re about to have him settle the argument they’re currently having, but shut themselves up when they see how deep he glows scarlet.
Afterstory: Trey has Cater intercept Riddles's path, as nobody but him can stop the tyrant in his wispy form. When they finally reign him in from his bloody rampage, they’re not quite sure what it is that led to his state. Their questions only further when they spy Riddle waiting at the river near Heartslaybul, a horrifying scowl on his face every time marine life passes.
You would be all the way in Pomefiores haunted mansion when Leona overhears shadow imps whisper. He doesn’t care at first, but then he hears your name, and his ears perk up immediately.
“Did you see how close that Incubus’s lips were to their mouth?! They were practically an inch away from tonguing each other, ewww!”
“I know right?! They must’ve been practicing a... What was it...? Oh! Honeymoon! They looked so deeply into each other's eyes it was intense— eww maybe they’re doing that human thing where they dance in bed—“
The inferior beasts silently scream as their small bodies slowly fade into the sand, a painfully slow death approaching. Leona leans back into his throne, his tail flicking up, the blurry image of your face drawing itself into the sand.
Green eyes glow underneath the bandages that cover his face. The pretty sight is sullied by the appearance of smooth skin and horns smiling in your presence while his wings wrap around you.
He’s quick to stomp on his face.
... It’ll be fine if he leaves his tomb for a while. Especially if he can return with a pair of Incubus wings to display in his treasury.
Afterstory: Leona’s planned voyage is stopped by a struggling Ruggie who does not need his king fighting a very popular one-night stand simply because he almost kissed you. (He would go with him if it weren’t for the fact he doesn’t want Vil showing up to his favorite village and seducing all of them. If they move away from there and go to Vils house... How’s he gonna steal food from them??. )
It’s a bit harder for gossip to reach Azul, as his natural giant size, has him dwell much deeper in the depths than others. But when it does, it’s over for any sailors, fish, mermaids, and any living thing in or on the water. Giant tentacles will reach from the dark and take hold of any possible creature available. He can’t cry in water, but he can surely kill in water.
He first hears this talk when he’s grabbing hold of a ship, the sirens above laughing at the crew while they rest on a rock.
“Ah, they’re just as funny as that hunter everyone seems so obsessed with!“
“Oh my, What’s the drama there?“
“That Ghostly Tyrant from Heartslaybul, Riddle? Yeah, those two were caught sleeping in the same bed, practicall, they looked at each other so lovingly! They even tucked his hair back like a lover! It’s hillarious— Ah?!“
Before the sirens know it, their tails are seized by another tentacle, dragging them to the same depths those sailors are heading to. Azuls eyes glare at them before they enter his mouth.
...
Talk about the Ocatvinelle waters growing red and dangerous only grow with each passing day. Sometimes, even the shore is no longer safe, as there was talk of a giant tentacle grabbing people on the sands they’re meant to be safe on.
Azul appears from the water in his smaller form, ivory hair covered in crimson as tentacles shift to legs. He’s in a dazed state when he emerges, groggily taking a step forward.
... Perhaps, he should pay a visit to this hospital. When he’s done, he won’t be the one who needs healing though. He hysterically laughs, clutching his chest while imagining himself saving you from that asylum.
Afterstory: In his state, he’s more like a Zombie rather than a Slime-Kraken. The only thing that stops him from successfully reaching Riddle, is your sudden appearance. He regains awareness in his state, panicking when he notices how unkempt he is for you! Surely you think he’s pathetic now! He calms down when he feels your hand bring his face to yours, worriedly asking if he’s okay. You’re the only thing that halts him from rampaging that poor hospital... Luckily you were there.
Jamil first hears about such an intimate situation from… well, the culprit himself. He’s unsure if he should even be mad though, being angered by this certain… reaper, seems a bit disappointing. So, he just ignores his incessant murmurs, turning his tail and slithering away.
Idia mumbles with each swing of his scythe, reaping unfortunate souls who find part of themselves in Jamil's stomach. Just his regular job. He started disinterested with the dozens of bodies, complaining about how he could be in his own realm. But then he pauses, as the tips of his hair start turning pink. Before he knows it, the entirety of his head is flamed in a bright rose
“You know…” he talks to the corpses like they’re living humans to gossip with. He laughs deeply, “They put my head in their lap…” Jamil pauses in the dark hallway, slitted pupils turning to look toward the cloaked figure. “That’s a sign, right? They like me— Oh wait, what if it’s a human plot…! They’re gonna lure me in and murder me… I don’t know if that’s possible though…” Jamil sighs at his rambles, he should’ve known it was just the reaper being himself. “Ugh…! That’s probably it…! They have all those beasts after them too, I mean, half of them are known to be attractive for the sake of getting their food…! I can’t compete…” Jamil is back to returning to Kalims side. Idia is not someone to worry about when it comes to you.
Jamil looks down at the golden cuff on his wrist, his scales hidden on the skin trapped by the bracelet. You have a matching one, one that covers his mark on your skin. He really shouldn’t be worried about a reaper who doesn’t wanna do his job—
“But then again… do those guys get kissed on the cheek by them too…?”
The sound of hissing makes Idia jump, Jamil's slitted eyes glowing in the dark as he slowly moves his way toward the reaper. With a scream, Idia takes hold of his hoodie, turning swiftly before fading into the air.
Afterstory: The disappearance of travelers in Scarabia sands has only increased, leading to suspicion from villages, even you. In your worry about the snake's actions, you head immediately to them. To your disappointment, each missing case was indeed found there… As well as a diligently hunting Jamil, who waits eagerly in the corner for… something. You hear him whisper Idia’s name before turning around and leaving. That is not something you wish to pry into. You spend the rest of your time with Kalim, which honestly, might��ve made matters even worse.
Vil has seen multitudes of people and their pleasures, so whenever a meal of his is indulging in someone else, he really doesn’t care. Until it’s you. It seems, he forgot that you have other fiends in your proximity, who aren’t as hideous as most monsters are. He’s reminded about this unfortunate circumstance when he passes a pair of succubi, eagerly gossiping about the notorious, Mummy King of Savanaclaw.
“That man really is handsome. It’s too bad he’s already dead… I would’ve loved consuming his vitality!”
“Doesn’t matter to me if he’s dead! Though, he’s very smitten with that Monster Hunter… I heard one of the imps saw him pull them on top! Even wrapped them with his bandages… A scandalous sight of that human on his lap and marked, is truly—“ they’re quick to quiet down when the feeling of twin tails wrap around their throat, and a heavenly scent invades their nostrils, very different to the devil behind them.
He knows he’s imagining it, but Vil’s eye twitches when the smell of dust and decay is located, a further reminder of the current man of topic.
“I’m sorry, Leona… Did hm?” The pleasant smile on his face would’ve successfully cloaked his malice if it weren’t for the fact his tails were suffocating the fellow seducers. Once they answer him, he allows their bodies to drop, his heels clicking against the tile as he walks away. A single flap and door opens for him, one that appears in front of you as well.
“Vil…? What’re you doing here?”
“Making sure you don’t fall for that cretin.”
Afterstory: Vil appears before you, his face close to yours as he questions you. He’ll interview you on very intimate details, like what you want, what you desire, and what kind of qualities you wish for in a lover. Whether you answer him or not doesn’t matter, it’ll all end on the same final question. “Does Leona Kingscholar fulfill that for you?” be careful how you answer that, it’ll end with either Vil scooping you in his arms and finding the nearest private room, or… A visit to Leona’s tomb that ends with dust and decay.
Idia is a bit of a wildcard… his Jealousy either ends in him babbling into your neck about how much better those other guys are, or a visit to their grounds planting numerous death traps in hopes of collecting their souls sooner. The faster they’re out of life itself, the faster they’re out of yours specifically! And, he can do that simply because death isn’t something that constricts him like it does them.
Idia finally crawls out of the underworld, begrudgingly, as the reports of multiple corpses were reported, needing to be guided to the afterlife. When he arrives there, he tenses at the immediate recognition.
It’s Scarabia.
His mouth falls agape at the location, realizing the chances of this being an obvious ploy from that snake are very high. He’s swinging his scythe up and over his shoulder at a speed he’s never done before, the faster he’s gone, the less probability of seeing Jamil lunging at him.
He can feel phantom sweat accumulating on his forehead. While not truly there, he can imagine it, and that’s enough exertion for the day.
“Get out… Get out…!” he whispers to himself, urgency in his voice while he opens his exit for the new spirits. He stops when he notices a comforting sight in the corner of his eye.
It’s you!
… It’s you.
In Scarabia, wrapped in Jamil’s tail. Your finger on his fangs while you closely gather his venom, inches apart from each other.
…
The recently departed have a very awkward journey to the afterlife. Their guide isn’t silent and mysterious… He’s silent and gloomy.
Afterstory: Jamil sees a multitude of death traps in his domain. After your visit, he can’t seem to go 5 minutes without something attempting to send him to the afterlife. Seriously, where the hell is this coming from?! Then for a moment, he sees a flicker of a blue flame around the corner, laughing behind his hand before disappearing…
Jealousy is a weak beast's trait, it’s what Lilia taught him. So, he must not feel so entitled to things, lest he get carried away. Despite those teachings, Malleus still falls as easy prey to the feeling of envy, especially when it comes to you.
His case of jealousy is something different from everyone else’s. Not only were you the one who told him yourself, but it’s also not a recent event. So truly, he shouldn’t be envious at all but…
“It’s really funny actually, I called Rollo my husband so often, townspeople actually believed we were married!”
… He can’t help but allow the storms to sky with lightning at the knowledge, that there are people in this world who believe you’re married to anyone but him.
“I see…”
“We also have matching earrings, so that really didn’t help our case…”
“I see…”
“Even Crewel and Trein were approving of how often we were together, can’t say the same about Crowley though…”
“I see…” He jumps forward at the feeling of you smacking his stone horns forward. When he turns to face you, he notices the annoyance and your face and quickly frowns.
“Can you stop with the lightning Malleus.”
“Oh, forgive me.” He snaps his fingers at the sky lightning dissipating. But the clouds in the sky remain. You both stay in silence, awaiting the other to make a move in the moment. “So then, what is he to you, Child of Hunters?”
The silence you give him does not bode well, thunder coming back into the atmosphere. Answer anything but that, and he’ll be okay.
“… Someone I…” the way he stares at the ground but not at you, for once, is a telling sign of his current affliction. “… Won’t tell you about.” Your answer does not satisfy him, for it signifies there is something to tell, which is not what he wants.
The feeling of your head laying on his shoulder finally disturbs his moment of brooding, his moss-covered features turning to look at you.
“Rollo, is much to me. You’re a monster. You’re all monsters.” He doesn’t like where this is going. “And I hate it. But, it’s disappointing that you’re all something to me too.”… A pang in his a heart that shouldn’t be there at all, is felt.
He doesn’t know whether that something you consider all of them as, is good or bad. But, perhaps it’s better not to know.
Afterstory: You’ve fallen asleep on his shoulder. Typically, he’d be over the moon at this advancement, especially since his body isn’t the classic material you’d wish to lay on. Yet, he feels a bit empty at the conversation. They’re all something to you, just as Rollo is. Yet, they’re different in your eyes. He gets the basic understanding but still doesn’t truly understand. Which is an issue, because his solution to this is to just make everyone else into nothing so then he can be your only something. Starting with Rollo.
Rollo is the worst case of jealousy among all of them. To be fair, his jealousy was still there when you were with him, always glaring at any suitors who attempted to court you. But now, even as he’s miles of land and sea apart from you, it has only gotten worse.
He comes across these rumors when he’s tending to his plants, taking greater care of your particular favorites in his garden. At first, when he sees the miniature devils, he sighs and pulls out his dagger with ease, ready to hunt them on the spot.
“Did you see that Draconia Gargoyle? Him and that hunter were on a dateee, Ahahaha! Grosss, they’re gonna kiss and get moss cooties!”
“Hahaha!!! And that old stone’s talkin’ about marriage!! Ring and everything!! Doesn’t he know a statue can’t marry a human?! Haha— Ha…?”
The two little demons stop their gossip when the feeling of impending doom looms over their tiny bodies. Before they can run away, a blade swiftly falls down on their tails, halting any chance of escape.
“That… Thing, did what with them?” Rollo’s naturally soft voice comes out strained in his inquiry, a testament to the current emotion he displays. The two of them shake their heads, tiny voices trying their hardest to make it seem like a joke. “It doesn’t matter. What was he doing to them? Did he really take them out on a date? Did he… really touch them?”
The little demons shiver in horror at the way it seems like his eyes turn in despair.
“… If he did, then there is no room for forgiveness.”
They both pause at this familiar phrase. There’s no way…
“You’re Rollo—!”
…
Rollo spread the ashes into his soil, delicately mixing the compound into one. The gentle smile on his face is entirely unlike the man he was a few minutes prior.
“A few less demons for your cruel world,” he waters the plants, his finger lifting a single leaf, “Don’t fret (Name), I will burn every one of them down if it means your smile lasts forever.” Rollo’s head turns up to feel the sun on his pale skin.
…
The light is blocked by a decaying gargoyle.
…
He’s leaving Sages Quarter, weapon in hand and ready to destroy every monster and gargoyle he sees.
Afterstory: The only way to stop Rollo’s current plan to end all monster lineages, is by reminding him that you would hate him for the rest of all time. He’s essentially stuck between the idea of protecting you and having you despise him for the rest of time, or not and letting you be seduced by these heinous creatures. Which is why it’s Crowley’s go-to plan when confronting him! “If you do it, they’ll never love you again! Bye-bye to work husband!” He immediately sits down. But with each day, this thread of patience continues to tear, until he eventually breaks.
Skully, is… a sad type of jealous. He really does wish to respect your wishes! But everytime he sees you the overwhelming urge to just kiss each part of your skin with his lips consumes him. However, it halts when he seems someone else has the same mutual feeling.
“… What’s that?”
His bony finger will travel over an empty patch of skin, but the way he pouts makes it seem like there’s something there.
“Uhm… My cheek?”
“No, the thing on it…”
You hand traces over the spot, not feeling any change in texture, neither do you remember anything on your face prior. So… what exactly is he talking about?
“Skully I’m not too sure—“ you’re interrupted by the feeling of his thumb aggressively wiping the spot clean. Then, his lips on your face, his expression in full view when he comes back to.
“There, better.” You don’t have the chance to question him before his lithe body is twirling you around in a ball room esque dance. For a moment he pauses the pirouette you’re in to quickly pluck something out of your hair. “Now, it’s really better. You’re truly perfect.”
He’s back to his romantic escapades once more afterwards.
It’s only when he’s sleeping peacefully in your lap, the bony spider legs on his back limp, do you notice what he did. The clearing in the forest you just danced in, reflects a single white feather on the floor.
You finally connect the dots. The spot he kissed on your cheek was the exact place Neige placed one on as well. No wonder he was so thorugh on scrubbing your skin…
Be careful if you fall asleep while he’s on your lap. In reality, he’s only closing his eyes so he can savor the moment to its fullest! The moment you fall prey to slumber though, he’s up looking over the places Neige left any marks on, and covering them with his own affections. Any place he had a feather hidden, he’ll cover it with his own prettily weaved web!
Only the best for you.
Afterstory: He was able to successfully mask his sadness at this mark this first time. But, if you come back to him again marked up like that, he doesn’t know if he can do it again… So please don’t enter his web with the mark of an angel! Why do you need that when you’re already one! He thinks you should just throw that angel away…
A/n: Once again, Ik this wasn’t a request, but I couldn’t help myself (≧◡≦) ♡
#monster!twst#askves#twisted wonderland x reader#twst x reader#riddle rosehearts x reader#yandere leona kingscholar#jamil viper x reader#vil schoenheit x reader#idia shroud x reader#malleus draconia x reader#yandere twst#yandere twisted wonderland#yandere malleus draconia#yandere riddle rosehearts#yan twst#leona kingscholar x reader#yandere azul ashengrotto#yandere jamil viper#yandere vil schoenheit#yandere idia shroud#vesconcepts#azul ashengrotto x reader#yandere#skully j graves x reader#yandere skully j graves#rollo flamme x reader#yandere rollo flamme
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Drew a bunch of Marinettes in a bunch of different artists styles it was a lot of fun!!
Artists who's styles I mimicked: @buggachat @hamsternamedmarinette @ladybeug @sabertoothwalrus and @anna-scribbles all epic artists 🤟😎
#my art#marinette dupain cheng#miraculous ladybug#miraculous fanart#style mimic#sorry for the @s btw#yall should go follow those artists if you dont already also#this was sort of inspired by a post the three artists on the top row made#i think they all got together and drew with one another#which is really cool#but i was genuinely confused because i mimic styles a lot#and ive seen others do it too so i was just like#wow they really know each others styles really well#until i thought about it and read their posts some more#style mimicking is really freaking fun and i think its really good practice#and a good way to explore other ways of doing things#like you really have to learn new techniques and get out of your comfort zone#also anna scribbles i could not find a recent pic of marinette in her main outfit#so thats the only marinette i drew in different clothes cuz i couldnt find a more recent ref of you drawing it#anna scribble marinette has privileges thats the others dont#but ye#i also threw my own style in there as a frame of reference to what me draw like#ive drawn marinette before just not in a loooong while#sabertooth walrus was the hardest for me to mimic cuz they have a broad range in their style#so its like which sabertooth do i wanna be in this pic#Buggachat has such a distinct style thats very clean and consistent which is amazing so they were easy#being easy or hard arent bad things either it also has to do with like styles meeting up with one another#buggachats and mine arent too too different in some shapes and aspects#so yeah itd be easier plus they drew marinette like 3 sec ago so i have more recent of a ref#as opposed to sabertooth who i have a recent ref of ladybug but not marinette so we got two diff styles in one
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Love this. Where can I find it? I enjoy a good pair of jeans and sneakers, and I also enjoy dressing up. Your surfaces reflect a lot about you, or hide a lot about you. There is mystery either way. I like such an item because it's pretty, and it draws the eyes to my breasts without popping them right out there. I like that kind of attention, that sensual interest, from men and women. I was explaining to a man the other day that of course men and women have different guard rails when it comes to expressing admiration of a woman's appearance. A man must be careful, tasteful and subtle. A woman, on the other hand, if she's interested in me, can - with a bit of sophistication - come right up to me and say just about anything she wants about how my breasts look, and even ask me to let her see more. She can flirt and even give me her contact information in front of my man, in some cases. It's possible. But if a man did anything like that he'd get the equivalent of a smack on the cheek and never get the time of day from me again. Giving and accepting attention is an art that should be learned. Finis.
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nothing makes me more insane than the phrase "selling your body" btw. like was i not also selling my body at every other job i've had where i had to be on my feet all day, lifting boxes, working in a warehouse, etc. why is it that sex work is uniquely labeled as "selling your body" while every other job is sorted into another category, no matter how much that job might have a physical impact on your body. lmao.
#personal#sw#in fact i have had worse long term physical effects from my jobs that were not sw. as a matter of fact#anyway also related conversation to be had about how most of the human trafficking in the US is not sex trafficking but is in fact other#types of labor that is trafficked#and that if you include prison labor as human trafficking based on different definitions. there is a lot of important connections we can dr#draw. about labor. power. control. and how to build solidarity to actually fight for people's right to free + safe working conditions and#self determination
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Zelda goes mushroom girl
#tloz#a link to the past#zelda#link#my art#I was happy with that first one but for some reason decided it still needed a companion piece so I spent way too long on that second one...#I don't think there was any time during the progress where I was happy with it but hfduhdfu at least I got to Attempt drawing moss hell yea#I also at some point sat in Pyu's art stream and said I enjoy drawing legs As I was being murdered by the infamously impossibe (imo) squat.#it's ok I had fun !! but I need to learn how to let doodles be doodles or I'll never finish stuff at this rate dfsuhfd#if everything in my tloz tag looks like it was drawn by different people uuuh 2023 was art crisis year ngl......#I'm falling back into my old ways rn though#anyway I think about these two a lot I think they're both stone faced and awkward ppl in different ways but they try rly hard to be friends#like I like to think it starts out so incredibly awkward and a bit sad bc they keep stepping over each other's toes accidentally the harder#they try but idk they find comfy middle ground idk in my brain they have a very interesting friendship I wanna get around to drawing it#in a proper way that might make sense....#if I don't write 200 tags I will die maybe it's bc I grew up on dA or smth#and yes I know how to find 1 (one) type of mushroom /I/ am not mushroom girl unfortunately smh
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Turbo Granny blunt rotation WIP
#for a class assignment due todayyyy#still gotta edit the fucking 600 word description yuck#and write another essay for a different class#and read another manga chapter for that class#and do makeup readings/hw for my mesoamerican art history class plus the readings/hw for this week#and i haven't been sleeping more than like 4 hrs a night cause i started a new medication#which also gives me evening heart palpitations lol#and im skipping class to finish as much as i can#but eventually ill clean this up and color it!#eventually#hopefully#next term i snagged a spot in the only 2D animation class this stupid college has ever had#and set up my schedule to only take up 3 days despite having 4 classes#and hopefully 2 of said classes will be pretty easy#ones a 1x a week gardening thing and the others an online design class#i wanted to leave lots of time to animate#dandadan#turbo granny#animation#fanart#dandadan fanart#character turnaround#art#digital art#artists on tumblr#trans artist#my art#my animations#krita#tw drugs
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REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT ADDITION, IMO:
Open enrollment season only applies for plans which you purchase through the Marketplace (either the federal marketplace, or your state's individual marketplace, depending on what state you live in--the rules will be the same, but the application portal will be different).
If you qualify for MEDICAID, you can enroll at ANY TIME OF THE YEAR.
It is always worth filling out an application for health insurance--or updating your info if you already have an account with your state's marketplace--no matter what time of year it is!
Having to purchase a plan usually means you don't qualify for Medicaid due to income limits (although there are other reasons you might not qualify, which are usually state-specific, but which should be explained to you in your application decision). You can still get discounts on these types of plans, usually in the form of Advanced Premium Tax Credits, which, instead of giving you a tax credit at the end of the year, take that credit and distribute it so you get some money off your monthly premium. Whether or not you qualify for an APTC, it is only when you are PURCHASING THROUGH THE MARKETPLACE that open enrollment season applies.
Also, life event changes, such as getting married, or having a child, can change your eligibility status and qualify you to purchase insurance or be covered by Medicaid when you weren't before, so always update your application when things like this happen!
Please fill out your state's application whenever you are able. You may be surprised to find that you qualify for Medicaid or a life event change, and can obtain coverage outside of the November-January window!
Also, many areas offer FREE, LOCAL HELP with navigating the insurance process! I know a lot about this because I was a licensed navigator in my state&county for a period of time. They can work with you to fill out an application, follow up if you haven't heard back, and help with appeals if coverage is denied!
Banging on the walls chanting "OPEN ENROLLMENT FOR ACA THRU JAN 15" like some deranged town crier. Election results aside, you have options to access healthcare as a RIGHT through the ACA. NO one can dismantle the Affordable Care Act in less than 4 years, so SIGN UP! GET YOUR CARE! USE THE SYSTEM!
You have options RIGHT NOW that will be stable thru the next year, the one after that, and I'd be shocked to see them shrink even the year after that. That means RIGHT NOW you can get signed up for next year to gain 100% covered preventative care (your annual check ups, pap smears, dental cleaning, vision check). You have the option to get checked and screened as you need, do NOT be dissuaded from exploring ACA choices. They are SOLID, LEGISLATED, and WORK BEST WHEN PEOPLE USE THEM.
I can't change most things around me, BUT I CAN tell everyone I know that THEY CAN GET LIFE SAVING CARE. THEY CAN GET PRESCRIPTIONS. THEY CAN GET PREGNANCY CARE. THEY CAN GET CANCER CARE. AND THEY WILL GET THAT CARE!!!!!!
SIGN UP BY DECEMBER 15, 2024 FOR COVERAGE TO BEGIN ON JANUARY 1, 2025. ENROLLMENT AFTER 12/15/24 WILL HAVE COVERAGE BEGINNING FEBRUARY 1, 2025.
#insurance#health insurance#usa#public health#my knowledge as a navigator is not 100% current as of this year and not applicable to every state bc my license lapsed#but PLEASE do not despair if you miss open enrollment#you may still qualify#also if you're in MN and we've talked hmu any time for insurance help im not official but i know shit
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Fun fact! This was the real tipping point that made Edgeworth run away after AA1, they just couldn't show it on screen because they didn't have the rights to Chappell Roan's music <3
(A spiritual successor to my "Hot to Go" joke from this post. Image description under the cut below)
[Image ID: a four page black and white comic of characters from ace attorney.
The Judge stands solemnly at his podium holding a gavel "Mr. Miles Edgeworth, you are on trial for the murder of blah blah blah..."
A cheerful Maya Fey leans over to Miles Edgeworth, who is staring straight ahead and looking very concerned
Maya: "Psst! Mr. Edgeworth! If you win your trial, can I show you Chappell Roan?
Miles: "What the hell, sure." Internally he thinks "Oh God I am going to jail"
A box saying "later" in the top corner of the next panel marks the passage of time.
The Judge smiles as he says "I declare you... Not Guilty!"
We see a full body shot of Maya dancing excitedly while Miles looks on, emotionless
Maya: YIPPEE omg you're going to LOVE this
Miles internally thinks "oh no, the consequences of my actions.
We see Miles standing in between Phoenix Wright and Maya looking apprehensive. Maya beams in excitement, while Nick puts a reassuring hand on Miles' shoulder
Miles: Alright, so what is this exactly?
Nick: She's a pop musician Maya really likes
Maya: You promised you'd let me show you, and it's legally binding because you said it in a court room!
Miles: That is not how the law works Ms. Fey
Maya: Shh just listen!
We see a panel of Miles' pensive face concentrating as he listens to "Hot to Go". He thinks to himself "hm".
Another panel zoomed in more. His pensive expression has grown more tense/confused as he listens to "Red Wine Supernova". he again thinks to himself "Hm" in a larger thought bubble.
We zoom out again to see Nick, Miles, and Maya standing together again. Miles stares forward blankly, eyebrows raised. Maya excitedly leans in.
Maya: Ok, that's her whole discography. So! What did you think?
Nick looks at him, waiting for his response
We get a panel of Miles, looking bewildered. He starts to speak "I..."
We cut again to see the three of them standing together.
Miles: I... don't think I like women?
Miles looks shocked and confused. Nick is bent over laughing, using a hand on Miles's shoulder to support himself. Maya looks outraged and appalled!
Maya: MR. EDGEWORTH! Just because you don' like her musi it doesn't give you an excuse to be sexist!
We see a panel of Miles looking stressed and confused. He leans his head on one of his hands, which messes up his hair, showing how he isn't his normal put together self.
Miles: I should rephrase that. What I mean is, Ms. Roan is clearly VERY assured in her feelings towards women. I was... unaware that anyone felt that strongly. I thought we all viewed these things with a vague sense of distaste and unease but collectively ignored it. Like how we do with climate change.
We zoom out again to see the three of them. Miles stands in the middle looking deeply uncomfortable and lost in thought, vibrating with unease. Nick and Maya exchange deeply concerned glances across from him.
With lingering unease, Miles begins to walk away.
Miles: Well, I should be going then. Goodnight.
Nick hesitantly raises a finger to point out an inaccuracy in that statement
Nick: It's four in the afternoon-
he gets interrupted by Miles who repeats firmly: I said Goodnight
Nick looks in the direction Miles walked off in.
Nick: ...He'll be ok, right?
Maya reassures him: Of cours Nick! I mean, what's the worst that can happen?
Jump cut to a closeup of Nick's hand holding Miles' letter which reads Miles Edgeworth chooses death in all caps. Then, below in smaller font, it says Also femininomenon was really good, thanks.
We see a panel of Nick glaring wordlessly at Maya as he holds the letter in his hand. Maya leans against the wall and looks away, whistling, trying to look innocent to avoid blame.
As a bonus, we also have a page that takes place a year later. Miles and Nick stand talking. Miles looks calmer now, and Nick smiles encouragingly.
Miles: In my time in Europe, I've been examining myself and my approach to law. Ultimately, the most important focus must be justice. We owe it to ourselves and to the people we serve
Nick: Wow, that's really inspiring Edgeworth. And, uh, hows the... the other thing going?
We get a zoomed in panel of Miles glaring menacingly at a suddenly nervous Nick
Jumping out again, Miles turns his back to Nick as he continues to talk
Miles: So as I was saying, justice is truly so important...
Nick nervously rubs the back of his neck wearing an awkward expression as he sweats nervously. He thinks to himself internally "Ooookay then, clearly still working through some things there"
/.End ID]
#Miles can handle horrifying truths about the death of his father and the nature of his guardian#but he draws the line at questioning his sexuality!#also. serious moment for a second#I think we focus a lot on moments of queer discovery stemming from attraction to the same sex#like that being the moment of panicked “oh no I'm different”. Which makes sense and is valid!#But I think it's also compelling to explore the opposite but similar twist in your gut that is:#oh my god I don't feel anything in this situation where others do. oh no something something is wrong with me#and this is something that gay and lesbian people have in common with ace and aro people!#I feel such tenderness and kinship to everyone who has been in that situation#and it's why i will never understand why aspec folks are pitted against gay or lesbian representation#we are drawn to the same characters bc we had such similar experiences and isn't that lovely that we can find solace in media?#so NO FIGHTING. We should all be BEST FRIENDS. my brothers in arms. I'd die for you.#all that is to SAY: I personally read edgeworth as asexual and like demiromantic/gay.#but YOU can read him as just gay in this comic if you want <3#Also. i just thought it would be funny if it took a lesbian to make him realize he didn't like women#I think he would have no clue how to react to chappell roan. Same vibe as giving a victorian orphan a baja blast and a crunchwrap supreme#ok sorry shutting up now#ace attorney#ace attorney comic#ace attorney trilogy#gyakuten saiban#phoenix wright#naruhodo ryuichi#miles edgeworth#mitsurugi reiji#maya fey#ayasato mayoi#my art
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I'm a doctor, not a miracle worker.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wen ning#wei wuxian#wen qing#jiang cheng#Truly Massive disclaimer here: I am a Jiang Cheng enjoyer. I like his character. I enjoy that he is very flawed and volatile.#This episode of the audio drama has a lot of great breakdown scenes featuring JC - and they all deserve a feature.#But underlying this comic is a small meta comment of 'ah man I have too many comics of JC just wailing sadly'#My goal is to draw 6-8 comics per episode - I sometimes have to truncate and cut good scenes out.#Especially when a large majority is just different flavours of trauma and toxic relationships to your self-worth.#I would also like to make a note here that just because you lose the ability to do something that is very tied to your core identity-#-does not mean your life is over. It will feel like the end of the world. It will send you into a spiral of grief. It will hurt so badly.#Sometimes we do not realize how tied up our identities can be in certain things until we are cut loose.#You don't lose yourself. I promise the pain will fade in time. I promise you will find other things to tether you. I promise you will be ok#Life moves forwards. Time moves forwards. You move forwards.#Ego death just means an opportunity for ego rebirth. You are never committed to being the same person forever.#To wrap this around to JC: Yeah I love the twist with the core transfer but man I would have loved to see JC accept the loss.#Obviously it happens for a reason (story) but I can have my AUs. I can have these 'what-ifs'.#described in alt text#I'm trying it out! *please* give me feedback - I want to eventually Add image ID to all of these comics one day
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